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Articles
Ouch! This Hurts! Doing Our Deeper Healing Work
by Rusty Stewart, Ph.D.
I know you don't want to hear this, but it HURTS! Basically, doing the deeper work SUCKS!
Now that we've got that out of the way, let's look at the benefits of subjecting ourselves to uncovering and revisiting our past wounds and traumas. First of all, if we want to stop our negative patterns, we have to release the energy we have from the past which repeatedly sets up this dynamic to happen over and over and over again. Many times I have new clients come to me saying, "I've forgiven the people from my past, the past is past, I'm not going back into that pain and trauma again." Impossible! If we are resistant to go back we still have a charge with our past. What we resist persists! The content may differ but the dynamic will keep happening until we break the energy of shame, guilt, fear, and loneliness. We do this through Hypnotherapy and grief work to release anger, feel sadness, and heal. This over time breaks our dysfunctional energy patterns.
Let me move back to forgiveness for a minute. Above I said that it is impossible to have forgiven if we still have energy with those people and/or events. True forgiveness is when the energy is gone and we have taken full responsibility for our lessons. It means taking action or non-action in our declaration not to play the game anymore. Experience the metaphor of I hit you, you hit me back, I hit you, you hit me back, I quit I'm not playing the game anymore. This is when we learn the lesson. We break Karma, we break the bargain of separateness. This is true forgiveness because it opens up the choice for the other person to heal and for ourselves to heal. Then we can look through a new lens and see our victimizers as teachers and saviors. However we can't truly do this until we release the repressed energy from our past which is lurking around in our unconscious.
Now for the really good news. There is a tremendous amount of freedom when we release and forgive. It may be painful, uncomfortable, depressing, anxiety provoking, and enduring for a period of time. Believe me, the benefits are well worth walking in the valley of darkness. Authentic forgiveness brings joy, happiness, innocence, courage, self- confidence, and opens our hearts to love and oneness. Each time we shift our energy away from fear, shame, guilt, and loneliness, we open up to the abundant flow of the universe and God. Life becomes easier with less effort and need to control. Synchronicity and synergism become common experiences. The web of our oneness and connections is enhanced. We begin to have fun again! We are like innocent children exploring the world anew!
All of this and more is available to us by having the courage and patience to do our deeper healing work. Pain and hurt is not bad. It's just a flag that we got out of balance along the way. It's a sign that we were misled away from our innocence. The uncomfortable memories remind us of our lessons to be learned in this lifetime. Whether we chose to heal and learn is our choice. The paradox that I have learned is there is no going back. This means that I'm always moving forward in my personal growth and spirituality no matter how painful it is. But there is no going back to the way I was. Just going back to revisit some of my charged lessons to clear my path back home to my authentic and sinless self. So join with me in healing together and take the band-aid off so the pain and hurt can finally be replaced with forgiveness and joy!
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