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Articles
Have a Love Affair with Yourself!
by Rusty Stewart, Ph.D.
Whatever you do for Valentines Day celebrate who you are! We do not have to be in relationship or be actively dating to celebrate and love who we are. In fact if we want to be in a healthy relationship we better have a healthy one with ourselves first!
Are you taking care of yourself? Where do you put yourself on your priority list? First, second, last? What types of special things do you do for yourself? Do you put aside time just for you? Do you nurture or pamper yourself? Where does your energy go when you are in a steady relationship with someone? All of these questions will help determine if you are loving yourself. The more we love, do things, and celebrate our relationship with ourselves, the healthier person we will eventually attract into our lives. If we do not feel good about ourselves and feel less than whole don't look to another person to make you whole. It doesn't work. It's a temporary fix, just like drugs. The real love affair is an inside job. It takes commitment and courage. It takes discipline.
Valentines Day is traditionally a day for lovers, couples, dating, etc. And it still can be a reminder of how special certain people are in our lives. But it is all for naught if we do not experience a love affair with ourselves first. The love affair with self is eternal. Then we can truly extend out our authentic love for others without contingencies. Nobody can take away our love for ourself.
So whether you are with that special someone or not this Valentines Day remember that as long as you have that love affair with yourself everything is perfect. Do something for yourself that you have never done or have not done in a long while. Put yourself first! Celebrate with spirit and enthusiasm. Send yourself a Valentines Day card, or flowers, get a massage, or take a bubble bath with tea, candles, and incense. Really let yourself know how much you love and appreciate you. Then do whatever you are going to do for and/or with somebody else or not. Notice what you experience and feel when you give care to yourself first. Start a new Valentines tradition and ritual for yourself and remember that you can do these things for yourself as often as you like.
Happy Valentines Day to everyone, but most importantly to myself!
Love and Joy,
Rusty Stewart, Ph.D.
Personal Growth Alternatives Newsletter, February 2005
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