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Articles
Beware Of The Guru Syndrome!
by Rusty Stewart, Ph.D.
We have all had experiences with teachers in our lives, right? Some good. Some not so good. But what about teachers that we look up too? The ones we engage in as mentors or sometimes as gurus. All I can say from past experience as a student and a teacher is beware! We are all students and teachers. There is no hierarchy. There is no right way to get to where you think you are going and no one who knows the way any better than you. We all have valuable things to teach and learn from one another. The key is to separate the teacher from the teachings and remember that we are all human beings with our own shit. That being said it is difficult to get in touch with our Godselves when we are worshipping someone outside of ourselves with the belief that they are more whole than ourselves.
For myself, it has been a difficult path in finding mentors in my life. Ever since my spiritual awakening in my mid 30's, I've been more interested in the teachings than the teacher. That doesn't mean I have not connected with or sensed more authenticity or genuineness from some teachers more than others. I'm just careful about creating potential false expectations and putting someone on a pedestal. This would not benefit the teacher or me. Especially since what works for someone else may not work for me. Only I can make that determination in oneness with Spirit. The teacher is just a guide sharing options. Elizabeth Lesser, co-founder of the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies in Rhinebeck, NY, Speaks candidly about teacher and gurus in her book "The New American Spirituality: A Seekers Guide." "As moved as I have been by the genuine spiritual teachers I have met through my work, I have also watched with a mixture of horror and humor, as a parade of pretenders and downright oddballs sold their wares to people looking for quick fixes, magical cures, or eternal youth" (Lesser, 1999).
I look at everyone as a mirror of myself. This way I can learn from everyone. I have experienced different teachers as mentors for certain aspects of my life that I am learning or working through. Most of these experiences are attempts to heal my childhood and inner child issues. However, I do not put pressure on myself or a "guru" to meet all of my mentorship needs. I like to spread the mentorship lessons around and get many different perspectives. Then I rely on my intuition, past experience, and Spirit. In other words, I get different teacher needs met through different people. We're all just human beings on the physical plane anyway. I take what works and leave the rest behind. I trust my Higher Self!
One thing I have learned about teachers, gurus, spiritual leaders, etc., is that if they are proposing to have all the answers and to have worked through all their shit, or claim not to have any issues, look out! Humility is first and foremost what I look for in a potential teacher. All the great Spiritual Teachers have or had it! "I have been appalled by the ironic behavior disorders that have shadowed spiritual leaders. Men, women, Western, Eastern, fundamentalist, New Age, modern, or indigenous–none have escaped the temptation to abuse power. Things to be wary of: extravagant claims of enlightenment or healing; the minimizing of the hard work that accompanies any true spiritual or healing path; the excessive commercialism that betrays the deeper spiritual message; and the blind adherence of followers to charlatans (be they gurus, therapists, preachers, healers, or teachers). With their deceitful double standards, some gurus, therapists, and teachers have given mentorship a bad name and tarnished the image of humbling oneself to a wiser and more experienced guide" (Lesser, 1999).
So the challenge is to walk the delicate balance between looking for too much from a teacher and thus becoming vulnerable and too needy, and being cynical, defensive, and on guard thus not allowing anything healing and transforming to penetrate us. And this is where the real value of a mentor, teacher, or therapist with our own healing becomes paradoxal and fragile. "For the relationship between a disciple and a student to bear fruits there has to be a level of intimacy, trust, and respect–the same emotional qualities that one usually brings to friendship or family relationships or romantic love. And herein lies on of the dangers of the student/teacher relationship. It takes a mature person to give his or her heart to a teacher without projecting all sorts of impossible needs onto that teacher. Yet most of us are not yet emotionally or spiritually mature when we seek a teacher. In fact, we engage with a teacher in order to become mature" (Lesser, 1999).
Yoga Living, November/December 2004
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