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Articles
I Want It Yesterday!!!
by Rusty Stewart, Ph.D.
Sound familiar? It certainly has been a theme I've had to address in my life. The problem is that our culture sets us up to become addicted to or attached to instant gratification. Our society does this in two ways. The first is through the media, advertising, television, consumerism, materialism, planned obsolescence, capitalism, and competition. The basic premise is want, have, consume, want, have, consume, more, more, more, now, now, now… This pervasive attitude engulfs many people's lives like the plague, without regard to the costs it incurs to Mother Earth and her inhabitants, as well as other cultures, and our own physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well being. The second way our American society promotes instant gratification is by eliminating the belief that hard work, loyalty, patience, and planning hold meaning with regard to our chosen careers. Corporations have seen to that. Just ask the former Enron employees. The bottom line is patience has become a thing of the past in our society -- from medicine to careers, to psychotherapy, to alternative healing, to spirituality. This paradigm is infecting the very things that offer us a way to heal and become whole.
I often am concerned at how quickly people expect to heal. Like they are entitled, or they shouldn't have to go through painful years of work. I frequently encounter clients who want instant results. They even admit that they are impatient. Once again I can relate to this, but I also know that my impatience gets me nowhere fast! There are no shortcuts. So for many of us the first task is to cultivate patience. Anything real or worthwhile takes time and practice. I have been doing my personal growth work for 16 years and I'm still peeling back layers of the onion. There is only so much we can do to speed the process up and when we exceed that, the law of diminishing returns sets in. In fact, if we try too hard we actually lengthen the process. We must strike a balance of patience and persistence.
When we choose to change, be it our lifestyle, a behavior, or a pattern in our lives, we will need to reinforce that change until it becomes fully integrated into all areas of our lives. This takes time! That is why I stress the process over outcome. Through the process, change is occurring in many little ways all the time. And the process is something we are always engaging in. The process requires patience, diligence, persistence, and discipline. Real and lasting change happens over time. There is no replacement.
So what is this balance that I speak of? We must be gentle, patient, and disciplined with ourselves. We must not be attached to what the outcome is to look like and when the outcome is to occur. Everybody is different. We've been practicing being a certain way for many, many years. We can't expect it to change overnight. It may take years. As long as we are engaged in the process we will start to see the fruits of our labor over time. This brings up the importance of being disciplined to keep at it through diligence and persistence. Don't give up! All processes take time and need an element of discipline and stick to it-ness. Getting to the real source is a longer process. You will be rewarded through your discipline. Balance is the key. We have to know when to push and when to let go and receive. Patience builds a solid foundation for growth to occur.
Many of the changes that are required for the world to heal are going to require patience. At the same time we don't have time to waste. It's just that there are no easy, quick or painless solutions. Anybody who tells you there are, are full of shit. Change can happen in an instant for it happens in the moment. The process is one moment building upon another moment. In truth, our paradigm needs to shift first on the micro level, then on the macro level. Instant gratification is an illusion that will eventually lead to the destruction of our species on every level.
It's time to adopt the attitude of real and lasting change, for ourselves and the world. This will take courage for it will most certainly involve pain. Pain means we are out of balance. Bringing balance back will require patience, diligence, persistence, and discipline. There are no quick fixes. That being the case, don't you think it's time we get started? I know I have.
Yoga Living, May/June 2006
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