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Articles
Letting Go Of What We Planned: Surrender And Trust
By Rusty Stewart, Ph.D..
Letting go is tough! It has many layers of illusion and many lessons along the way. Let me elaborate from my own experiences over the last several months. I have always been a planner. I work hard and put the energy forth to manifest my intentions. However, I have by no means mastered the art of letting go of the outcome. I frequently have my own version of how things should turn out after I plan and put my energy in motion. This is a recipe for frustration, disappointment, entrapment, loss of self-confidence, and fear. The answer is to surrender and trust, two concepts that sometimes elicit more fear of the unknown for me.
I have planned a lot in the last year. I have also gone through some of life's biggest stressors including, the loss of my four year relationship with Andrea, the rapid declining of my parents health including several hospitalizations and my 80 year old mother having a double bypass, my brother in and out of the hospital since his liver transplant, double bypass, failed kidneys, failing spleen, diabetes, several blood and staff infections, and irreversible advanced coronary heart disease, and my father's increased difficulty walking, frequent falling, and advancing dementia from his past strokes. In addition, I have been called upon to help out with all of these health crises, which never seem to end. This has resulted in me not taking care of myself like I have been accustomed to, and putting my plans for my business and community on the backburner as I have finally realized that I am not superman. I am Christ Shiva Das, but I am not superman. One is of spirit and the other is of the human ego. I came to this realization after I put an offer in on a triplex house in Conshohocken as an investment and for my residence and business. Suffice it to say that the bizarre has happened as I came to an agreement on price, signed the contract, and was then told three days later that the seller could not sign the contract because the Boro of Conshohocken had not approved the use and occupancy codes of the building. As a result, I am in limbo. There are no other properties at this time that even come close to meeting my needs. So I have surrendered. My ego has been popped like a zit. All the great planning that I have done will take me to another outcome. The hard part for me is trusting that the new outcome will serve me better, that the universe has a better plan for me.
In my overwhelmed state, I overlooked the key piece of the manifestation process and that is letting go of the outcome and trusting the process. I have decided to do first things first and get myself aligned with spirit again and put myself first. Another important part of the manifestation process that I teach that can elude us in times of challenges is the emotional energy that is necessary to manifest our thoughts and intentions. Many times this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy when we are in emotions of fear. If we are going through a difficult time emotionally and trying to manifest our dreams and desires at the same time, it becomes challenging to feel the positive joyous emotions over the painful lessons that we have attracted into our lives for healing. Now this does not mean that we are supposed to be in denial of our feelings and ignore the life lessons the universe presents to us, but it does mean that we need to not get all consumed by our pain and put up emotional boundaries with ourselves. For me this means feeling all the family stuff that has been served up for healing and then allowing myself to feel the joy of continuing to manifest my hearts desires while still taking care of myself. That is ultimately one of my life lessons and a big dynamic that I need to heal in my family of origin. It is healing just to share this with you.
In closing, I want you all to know that I just took four days down in Ocean City, NJ just for me. I did very little work and allowed myself to just be. I am learning to let go and trust that my plans are working out perfectly for me. I am surrendering to my true self, Christ Shiva Das, and awakening to the arrogance and absurdity of trying to control the uncontrollable. I am also surrendering to the lessons that have been sent my way. It's time to learn so I can truly manifest and extend the Love that I am. I invite you all to join with me in this process. This is an initiation that I must go through in order to be the best leader and teacher that I can be. As I learn this my ego reluctantly realizes that I will always be a student and that control and attachment are futile and not of Spirit. So let's all celebrate our humanness so we can get on with the humility and responsibility of remembering the Gods and Goddesses we all are and have always been. God Bless!
Peace and Humility,
Rusty Stewart (Christ Shiva Das) YES….HUA!!!!
Personal Growth Alternatives Newsletter July/August 2007
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