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Articles

By Rusty Stewart, Ph.D..


Now that feels real good doesn’t it! So many of us spend so much time blaming and distancing ourselves from our families. Some of us will swear on our graves that we didn’t pick our families. Many of us don’t even want to talk about our families. Then there are those of us that are trying to forget our families. Well, I’m here to suggest that all of the above may condemn us to countless lifetimes of lessons and struggles. Why, because our families are our greatest teachers and ultimately our silver platter Saviors. It all begins with our incarnation into our families, and the lessons with our families don’t end until we take full responsibility for everything we attract to into our experience from our families. Kinda sucks doesn’t it? We can chose to be in denial about what are families are teaching us about ourselves or empowered by what we are learning and transcending. Two voices, two choices. One voice is of the ego and one voice is the higher self.

We must realize that we are with our families for a reason. We picked our mother, father, and other family members. We pick our bodies to incarnate our souls into. We have sacred contracts and agreements with our families. They are our teachers, just as we are their teachers. When we learn a lesson from them we break Karma. We stop playing out a certain familiar and fear-based dynamic with them like getting the last word in or having to be right. This frees us up to heal and really learn our lesson experientially. If you are interested in reading about the whys of incarnation and lessons we learn then you have to read “Journey Of The Souls” by Michael Newton, Ph.D. He hypnotizes his clients into their in-between lives before they incarnate again. The book is a fascinating read for those of you who need to know the whys.

Many times in order to gain a different perspective with our families we need to create surrogate healthy families and learn to get our needs met outside of our family of origin. This empowers us to create anew and take responsibility in asking for what we want in a healthy way. As we evoke a healthy separation with our family we ironically are able to appreciate them more and see the lessons we have willfully attracted more clearly. This enables us to Love them more and realize their divine presence and purpose in our lives.

For others, they may need to cut off their families for a period of time as they sort out the confusing, and sometimes, traumatic experiences they have attracted. Once again read “Journey Of The Souls” to understand the reasons we pick our circumstances and events more clearly. There are no mistakes, no accidents, and no random occurrences. If we believe there are then we still adhere to the victim disempowered mentality. There is no freedom or power in that thought system. When we have no back doors to slip out of we find ourselves fully accountable for everything. Now that is true empowerment and humility!

Remember, we get only one family of origin per lifetime. We can chose to create as many surrogate families, as we like. It is important to do our healing work so we can gain an appreciation for our family of origin and feel the gratitude of experiencing them as our teachers. This is true acceptance and taking full responsibility for our choices. It is only then that we can see the forest through the trees and begin to apply these lessons to all areas of our lives. When we heal our family stuff we heal ourselves. When we surrender and realize we have created everything and attracted everything we heal ourselves. When we heal ourselves we heal the world. When I really get that I heal the world by owning all of my own shit, and it’s all my shit, then I can really accept the shit that I attract as my silver platters in life. For in these very lessons lie my transcendence and freedom from the bondage of blaming my family. And then my heart can truly sing, My Family Is My Savior and I Love them as I Love myself for they are my mirror of who I truly am. I am that, I am!

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